my eyes flutter into the distance

a faint smile making its way to my lips

my hands, they tremble

cold, shaking - sweating

at the mere sight of you

i am helpless, desperate - yet

i choose to be

in this beautiful confusion

and stay here forever,

in this darkness

against the backdrop of your slightest presence

i am playing with fire

your the flame i'd circle around and around

touch it, get burned

blisters and wounds - scarred

but i'll go back -

deaf to all the warnings

that pain, i'm addicted to it

a high of orange flashes

take it and hope it was all mine

but that pain is all that's left -

that is all i have to remind me of you

that i had once been near you -

...have they all been imagined?

were they real?

or was i playing along with the tricks my mind made?

was i dreaming when you held my hand?

kissed me?

...when you left the world with me

and wrapped your arms

around the frailest gesture of my body?

did they mean more than

the screams painted with shades of brown?

mesmerized and spell-bound

...those moment standing for

so many unpunctuated thoughts

your flame flickers still,

dying

hanging on

to that last dryness of damp wick